I rolled over and found myself staring at the clock, tears streaming down my face. It was happening again. The numbers read 2 AM and I was terrified. Terrified that my daughter would never be able to battle through her addiction, terrified that I would never sleep again, terrified that she would be lost to our family forever, terrified of possible death.
As I had many times over the past few years, I willed myself to open my Bible and read. Psalm 13 says “How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart all the day? . . . Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, . . . “ The passage finished with “But I have trusted in Your loving kindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me. I flipped to another passage that I read regularly. “Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me; fighting all day long he oppresses me . . . When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?” Psalm 56
I sat staring at the last verses of these chapters . . . the part where David steps out of his feelings and fears and into humble submission and obedience to God.
“But I have trusted . . .” and “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You . . .”
In spite of everything, He is sufficient, in control, and He cares
As I pondered those final verses I was struck by David’s attitude. It was not about his feelings; they were at the bottom of a pit. It was not about his circumstances; he had no control over them. It was not about the fear or terror he felt; he knew fear was not of God.
It was about God. Only God. David trusted and found rest, hope, peace, joy, and all he needed was to put his next foot forward in God alone. In that moment, I was reminded again that in spite of everything, HE IS SUFFICIENT, IN CONTROL, AND HE CARES ABOUT ME. Luke 12:7 states the very hairs on my head are all numbered. I should not fear because I am more valuable than sparrows.
Have you ever been to that place where you doubted if you could even take your next breath? Have you ever wished it would all go away? Have you ever thought you could not move because of the shear pain of your circumstances?
Have you ever considered that this is right where God meets you
and He is right there with you?
Have you ever considered that this is right where God meets you and He is right there with you? These moments are the moments when God ministers to us with His Word. He calls us to stand firm having put on the belt of truth. Will you stand in His power when all else seems lost?
It’s been 10 years since the first night I woke up with that terror gripping me and it’s been 3 years since the last time it happened. God is faithful. He is our Deliverer and Redeemer. Our sweet daughter is 3 years sober. Praise God.
How will you respond not if, but when, trial comes your way?
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