Sometimes our own situations make us question our God. Some days that negative self-talk sets in. We almost lose our hope, our sense of the goodness of God, or our will to ever engage in our world again.
But the reality was that I did have emotions, and I was ashamed at what my emotions would tell me about myself.
What she was saying was that there was no shame, and those thoughts of fear have been paid for by Jesus. But, He also wants not just forgiveness for our hearts and minds but freedom by turning and walking in a new direction. His desire for us is peace and abundant life.
But then I think there is irrational fear. Fear that is overwhelming and keeps us from living our lives, that leaves us feeling suffocated. And I just can’t help but think that when we succumb to the power of this fear that we lose all opportunity to honor God. When the fear of failure is stronger than our faith, or the fear of the unknown outweighs our hope in Him, who wins?
Oh how I desire to come before the Lord, humbly submitted and poor in spirit, but in the wake of loss I was stuck in the cycle of searching for the “Why” of it all. I was grasping for some sort of control and wanted my God to show up and explain himself. But where did that lead me? Absolutely nowhere.