Hiding Porn Behind The Mask Of Perfectionism
Hi, my name is Andrew. I have a new life in Christ and I’m recovering from fear of rejection, pride, perfectionism, and acting out through sexual fantasy and pornography.
Hi, my name is Andrew. I have a new life in Christ and I’m recovering from fear of rejection, pride, perfectionism, and acting out through sexual fantasy and pornography.
Fasting can be and should be a part of our developed relationship with God as well. It is a gift given to us by our Heavenly Father and allows us an opportunity to set aside things that can easily entrap us and fix our eyes on the one who sustains us. What would be the value of fasting for you? What do you think that fasting would start to produce in you?
At nineteen years of age, I decided to come to terms with a dark past that had kept me burdened for almost 10 years. While I was ready to begin the healing process of the abuse that had occurred for the majority of my childhood, I wasn’t prepared for the time or the means it would take to get me there.
I am typically a non-fiction kind of girl. However, on vacation I’m always jonesing for the latest mindless fiction phenom. One summer, after a little research, I downloaded the bestselling and highly acclaimed book, “50 Shades of Grey”. Very early in the book I began to realize that this was basically pornography in written form.
Once I’ve made up my mind about something, I like to get moving and patience seems to vacate the premises of my being. Like the time I decided I wanted bangs. While my husband was busy in our room preoccupied, I half-heartedly asked him his opinion about me getting them cut. He murmured something…but, let’s be honest, I wasn’t really asking him. I think it was more of a hopeful attempt for his approval. With scissors in hand, I began making the cut. He walked into the bathroom and with a shocked look on his face said, “Wow! You meant now.” Because of this little endearing quality, anytime I have a new idea, he is great about simmering me down before I dive full board into something.
This story is for every person who dares to transform. For every person who understands that the first step is at the feet of our loving Father in heaven. To those who understand that we come just as we are, in need of His perfect love and forgiveness.
I just looked at the clock and it is after 2 A.M. and I am wide-awake. I’m not sure if you have ever had those moments when you feel like God is just trying to speak to you or wants you to do something so you can’t sleep until you do it. Well tonight seems to be one of those nights. Being new to this amazing panel of writers on Self Talk Gospel, I have been debating on how much to share or how personal to get but again, when you feel God tugging at your heart to do something, you need to do it.
Idol worship. The phrase may bring to mind carved wooden figures or golden statues from the Bible. For many years, that was my mental picture. But I’ve learned that idols can, and often do, look much different. The idol I bowed down to for years goes by the name “perfectionism.” And while my exaltation…
I rolled over and found myself staring at the clock, tears streaming down my face. It was happening again. The numbers read 2 AM and I was terrified. Terrified that my daughter would never be able to battle through her addiction, terrified that I would never sleep again, terrified that she would be lost to…
I know that Christ has forgiven me, but sometimes, I struggle to believe it.