omething has been stirring in my heart for some time and it is something I’ve shied away from addressing until I could really allow the Lord to examine my own heart in the matter. The subject at hand is narcissism and at first glance, we see a topic that brings overtly negative connotations. However, if…
Jen Rumley is a wife to a pastor hubby and a mom to three little boys on earth and one in Heaven. She is learning to break free of the shackles of insecurity and people pleasing, and grateful for a God who is patient in her struggles with pride and selfishness. She loves all things people, especially over coffee and good food, but cherishes her alone time that she sneaks in ever so often. She is a recovering control freak and is learning to embrace the thick dust that often lays piled up on furniture in her home, along with dried food smudges left by kiddos. If there were two things that she hopes her life would be marked by would be that she loved God and loved people well.
Over the last couple of years, the Lord has been simplifying my life through various circumstances, some out of necessity and some out of choice. On a journey towards financial freedom, we made one car work for over a year, we sold our home and moved to a small, one bathroom farmhouse, and we said no to more things than we said yes to.
We must stop allowing the distraction of comparison to keep us from the things God has set right in front of us to do. It’s a battle, a fight to ward off the lies of not being enough. I believe Satan, the father of lies, loves nothing more than to tell us that we might as well not even try because it will never be good enough, big enough, or make enough of an impact.
Overcoming doubt and unbelief, along with all the other giants we face, solely rests in believing God rather than our own perceptions about our circumstances. Either we trust and believe God or we don’t…Until we are overcome by who God is, we will be overcome by who we are not…
I hold many titles in my life: daughter, wife, friend, chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, and occasionally the handyman or lawn care worker. But few titles carry the weight of implications and responsibilities as that of mom, mother, mama and mommy. For most of my life, there was not much I desired more than to be a mom and to have children. My husband and I have had our fair share of struggles on our journey to having children through infertility, miscarriages, and ultimately the loss of our second born son. The journey has had many ups and downs, so I can relate to the broad spectrum of where many of you may find yourselves.
As we drove down the gravel and dirt road, I began to wonder what it was that God was stirring in my heart. For months, there had been a nagging, necessary, pulling to simplify. Fear, unknown and grief of memories came flooding in as I worked diligently to shove aside any thought of change to the comfortable little life I had been living. I have never been one to hold on too tightly to tangible things, but somehow the house we were about to leave was representative of so much more.