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A Daring Question Each One Of Us Must Ask

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Editor’s Note: This article is part of the Impressed series. Be sure to follow the rest of the series HERE.

What If? It’s a simple question. One that could launch into worry or adventure. It could be meaningless or profound. Incredible inventions have been birthed by people asking, what if? Some regular what if questions I ask, are:

What if I smell? – You may laugh, but that’s my reality. I am a mom of toddlers and a daily shower isn’t always a given. What if I sleep in rather than rise early to get a head start?- asked almost daily. What if I call those stale goldfish crackers, 1 slice of apple, and candy that I snuck in the pantry, lunch?- I’ve actually stopped asking that one and have just accepted it as is. While battling anxiety much more serious What If questions kept a stronghold over me: What if someone in my family gets sick? What if I get sick? Insecurities often lie in a What If question: What if they don’t like me? What if I fail?

But there is one what if question that haunts me.

If I was created for a divine purpose, what if I’m not living in it?

I’ve been haunted at times by this question because here is what I do know. Time is short. God has graciously saved me from my own depravity. (Eph 2:4-6) He doesn’t have to use me to write His story, but He wants to and has given me gifts to specifically be used for His glory. (Eph 4:11-13, Rom 12:4-8 & 1 Cor 12) And there will come a time where I face Him in all His wonder and I will be accountable for what I did with my life. (Rom 14:12)

If I was created for a divine purpose, what if I’m not living in it?

As a wife who has made a covenant before God, and having been given the gift of children, I do not question my calling. But lately I have had a hard time describing how I was feeling. A book I read called Restless, by Jennie Allen, recently made a big impression on me and helped me work through my questions of purpose. Do you ever have that moment where an author or speaker seems to be in your head and you’re wondering how they know so much about you even though you’ve never met? That was my experience with portions of Restless. The title alone put a word to the feelings I had been having. There is no doubt that my highest calling right now is to be a God-honoring wife and raise up my kids in a Godly manner. No doubt. I don’t have to pray about that calling to see if that’s really what God has for me. I have made covenants and am a mom and so I am called.

But I feel restless.

Knowing enough about me, my wise husband encouraged me to continue in my job at our church as an administrator after having kids. I’m a high capacity, list-making gal who typically operates best with a full plate, so I think Josh was worried if I quit my job, his entire life would be put on excel and checklists to fulfill that part of my personality – smart guy. In that role, I have no doubt I am called. My skills and heart were wired for that job.

But I feel restless.

But I feel restless.

I’m not unfulfilled in my job or as a wife/mom. I am not sure that God wants anything different from me.

But I feel restless.

Through her book, Jennie Allen, uses the life of Joseph as an example. And although I’ve studied his life before it was like something clicked. He had a dream about the title and role he would eventually have, but it took many years before that was a reality. In the meantime he faced difficult circumstances, I’m guessing he felt a bit restless, but was still faithful. Ah-ha! It’s not about where you see God leading you or what your calling may ultimately be. It’s about being faithful wherever you are at.

Your calling has nothing to do with titles or roles. If you are faithful wherever you are at, you are fulfilling your calling. It’s that simple. So while I see God moving in my life (not as vividly as Joseph’s dream) I do not sit and wait for what God might have for me in the future. I have learned to pray for discernment for the future, but also for the present. How does God want to use me TODAY? And this book has challenged me to ACT. I resonated with the line, “So rather than be paralyzed with fear that you may move when you should have stayed or you may stay when you should have moved, pray and commit your ways to the Lord. And then go do something.”

How this plays out in my life currently is simple. There are days and weeks where being faithful to my calling of wife and mom is almost more than I can handle. I don’t have an ounce to give other than to that calling, and I rest in knowing that’s okay and right where God wants me. But there are other days, where by God’s grace I’m able to take on a little more, and I seek God’s will for what that day/week/season looks like, and I ACT. I used to want to see the end result picture like Joseph had, so I was searching – do I feel called to women’s ministry, to mentoring, to financial counseling, to the fight against human trafficking, etc.? Should I even consider these things if I’m a wife/mom who needs to make them my priority? Where does God want me? And I was missing it. The answer is YES. He has gifted me with certain abilities and He wants to use me, not just at the end of my story, but all along the way. When I feel capacity to help with a women’s conference, I do it. It may not result in a calling to fulltime women’s ministry. When I see someone struggling with finances, I can sit down and help them budget. It may not result in a calling to fulltime financial counseling. Or it might and it’s just down the road, but I am asked to be faithful today.

“So rather than be paralyzed with fear that you may move when you should have stayed or you may stay when you should have moved, pray and commit your ways to the Lord. And then go do something.”

One of my favorite lines from the book was, “No unique purpose for your life will fill your soul. The only thing that will fulfill and settle your soul is God Himself.” I do not need to seek a calling for fulfillment – God is enough, and we should enjoy the ride of living out callings that God has so graciously allowed us to take part in.

This book has left an impression on me and I would encourage anyone to read it. Regardless with where you are in your journey of finding your purpose, this book offers great next steps. Maybe you’ve never considered your calling – this book will help. Maybe you feel confident you are living out God’s calling on your life – this book will help affirm it. And regardless, I hope you feel encouraged to act – do something for the Glory of God, and let it be said of all of us, “Well done good and faithful servant” (Matt 25:23).

If you were created for a divine purpose, what if you’re not living in it?

 

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Interested in buying RestlessCheck it out HERE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Katrina Sherfield

About

Katrina is from Clovis, Ca and her primary job is being a wife (of almost 10 years) and mommy to a young girl and even younger boy. She also has the pleasure of being on staff part-time at The Well Community Church, where she serves administratively as her two passions collide (helping people see Jesus & organizing). If completing checklists could be considered a hobby it would be hers, and close behind would be helping people find freedom from anxiety (which she suffered from for many years) and financial freedom (just another one of her strange hobbies). She usually writes blog posts in her head but is looking forward to putting more of them down on paper, to hopefully encourage others as she processes life.


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